Wordplay

Today I was sent this video by a friend.


This sparked an idea for a post. But be prepared: I'm going to shock you a bit. Ready? Here goes.


The English language can actually be fun! Really, I promise!


Just as in any profession, lifestyle, hobby, and other part of our lives, puzzles and jokes exist in the English language. The puzzles can be like the video above: based in the structure of the English language and how words are written and put together. The jokes can be wordplay, or they can make fun of the English language itself.


Some of my favorite English language jokes are these.


A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"Well, I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."


A piece of rope walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind here!"
So the rope leaves. He thinks about the situation for a moment, and then ties himself in a knot and unravels the top portion of his body. He then goes back into the bar.
The bartender sees him again and says, "Aren't you that piece of rope that just left here?"
"No," says the rope, "I'm afraid not."

This is my absolute favorite joke of all time.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he's drinking, a tiny, foot-tall man jumps out of his suit pocket, runs over to the piano in the corner, and starts playing.
The bartender is fascinated. "Wow!" he says. "Where did you get him?"
"Oh," says the man, waving his hand, "there's this lamp down on the beach, and I rubbed it and a genie popped out. I got it from him."
The bartender is really excited, so after the bar closes he heads down to the beach. Sure enough, there's the lamp. He rubs it and the genie pops out.
"I will grant you one wish," the genie says.
"I want a million bucks!" the bartender says.
All of a suddent, a million ducks start flying out of the sky and attacking him. The bartender races home, slams his door shut and fights to keep the ducks from crashing through his door and windows all night.
The next day, he's exhausted. Then the same man from the night before comes in and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, pal, that genie of yours is an idiot! I wished for a million bucks last night, and a million ducks came flying out the sky and were attacking me!"
The man looks up at the bartender and says, "Hey, man, do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"


Then, of course, we have the watermelon-smashing comedian Gallagher, who continued to show us the crazy side of the English language. Click here for a sample of his work.


Here's a website that will amuse you for hours if you're a big nerd like me. Fun With Words - The Wordplay Web Site. Enjoy!


Special note: I have been asked many times about my handle for my blogs. Most people pronounce it "kat-foo-tee," or "kat-foh-tee." Only once in my lifetime has anyone ever gotten it right. Can you?