Washington Post Neologism Contest

I heard on the radio this morning that the Washington Post has released this year's winners of their neologism contest. To define, "neologism" is a word that has been given a new meaning, use or expression. It is also a definition in psychology as a word that is coined by a psychotic patient. For the WP contest, contestants are asked to either take an existing word or change a letter or two in a word to make it into a new word, and then give that word a definition.

Anyway, I ran into a problem, as is typical when you get information from the Internet. I thought it would be good to post a link to the WP article about it. All I could find was references to the same neologisms I've read year after year. So I started researching. I found out that this particular contest has been going on since 1998, and it is a weekly contest. The list I'm about to post was from several years ago--I can't quite pinpoint the year. Nowadays, neologism isn't the only thing WP holds contests on. Each week there is a new grammar contest of some kind, and really, they're a lot of fun to read. Click here for The Style Invitational, the blog that holds the contests. You may have to subscribe to the WP, but it's just an email subscription without any strings attached, i.e., no money required or annoying emails in your inbox.

Of note is this fun contest from a few weeks ago (because I know several of you are horse people): every year, the names of 100 racing thoroughbreds are listed. The contestants much "breed" these names and come up with a resulting foal's name. The winner (and this really made me laugh): Sir Phenomenal x Empire State = Knight Who Says NY Here is the post that includes all the submissions for this contest.

Here is the neologism contest results from several years ago that I heard about today. Enjoy, and be sure to start using these words in your regular vocabulary just to freak people out!

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. This year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
3. Giraffiti (n.) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
5. Inoculatte (v.) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
6. Hipatitis (n.) Terminal coolness.
7. Osteopornosis (n.) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
8. Karmageddon (n.) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
9.Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
10. Glibido (v.) All talk and no action.
11. Dopeler effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.